Key Ring Meanings

Its been too long since my last blog. I need to blog more!


Do you ever wonder what peoples key rings mean, if anything? I’ll tell you a bit about mine. I love key rings but you can’t have too many of them jangling around on your keys, it just gets really annoying. So I have two.

The first one is my Red Cross blood donation key ring. This is just a simple reminder to give. There’s so much humanitarian stuff I feel like I should have done and haven’t.....volunteering, donating to charity etc etc. Giving blood is a simple thing I can do, and it really does save lives. You get a key ring after your 2nd donation....after 50 you get a medal or something...not that I donate for the brass. My general feeling of the western population is that we have so much and give so little. Apparently 1 in 3 people in Australia will need blood but only 1 in 30 donates. This key ring reminds me every day to keep giving not just blood, but of myself in general.


The second key ring holds multiple meanings for me.

During my recent trip to the USA in Feb/March 2012, my final few days were spent in Los Angeles staying at the Figueroa Hotel. My Dad had already been diagnosed with stomach cancer before I left, but his condition was unpredictable, and we were hoping he could recover to a certain extent. It was here, that I found out he wasn’t going to recover - and that he had only a few weeks left to live. I adjusted my travel plans accordingly and went straight home.

I had some time to kill so I went to the Grammy Museum, just across the road. Its a pretty cool museum, I wasn’t allowed to take photos unfortunately -  but as well as the history of the Grammy Awards, it tells much of the history of popular music in general. It inspired me because, for some, a Grammy award is the peak of musical achievement. Maybe not THE peak, but if you get a Grammy you can’t be half bad. You’d have to be pretty darn good at whatever you’re doing. An unrealistic goal perhaps, but I wonder what it would take for me to get a Grammy, or even just nomination.

It was also on this night, while walking around the L.A Live Centre (behind the museum) that I met 2 hot chics. Alas no, nothing raunchy happened. In fact, all that happened was that they were trying to take a photo of themselves in the square with an iPhone and were struggling, so I offered to take it for them and they were so thankful. We chatted for a bit, they were both from Orange County and were in L.A. to watch the basketball game with the L.A. Lakers. My only regret was....not getting a photo with them/of them. That’s all. They seemed like really nice girls, with my departure to Australia only a few hours away....it would have been nice to have a visual memory of them, no matter how seemingly insignificant. But I didn’t seize that moment...this key ring reminds me that next time, whatever the situation, I should.


So there you have it. Give. Strive. Remember. We don’t know how long we’re here for, so go for it.

I hold these thoughts in my hands every day :)

Dad's Passing

My Dad passed away 1 month and 1 day ago today.

Dad had stomach cancer - a fast-moving type of cancer with no cure. He was diagnosed late last year. So when he passed, as sad as it was, we saw it coming, which makes it a little easier to deal with.

Dad and I didn’t have the closest relationship in the world - he and Mum were divorced when I was born and I have always lived with Mum, so our relationship has been somewhat distant. But in the last 10-15 years or so it had become better, and he slowly turned around to support the idea of me  being a musician. He completely disliked the idea back in the old days and wanted me to get an MBA.

Despite it being sad and everything, there are a lot of positives to take from it. In addition to being able to prepare for such an event, as described above, Dad got to do a lot of things and see a lot of people in the final few months before his death.

He got to make one last visit to his winery (flew in by helicopter) and visit the staff and set foot on the grounds, feel the machine and smell the flowers. A lot of people spoke to him, even if he didn’t speak much in return (cancer really wears you out) they all got to say their last goodbye, although no-one really said it that way.

 Dad was also in a fair bit of pain in the final few days, so we’re glad that part didn’t drag on too long. Gradually the cancer had worked its way to his diaphragm so it became difficult to talk, and eventually he couldn’t. The pain continued to rise and rise, the nurses gave him more and more morphine....until eventually he was in some sort of induced coma. He was breathing funny too - apparently fluid had found its way into his larynx, so he made this gargling sound when we breathed in and out. I’m told that while it sounds quite disturbing, it’s quite normal and doesn’t affect his ability to breathe.

During these final few hours, I went and spoke to him, even though he was in this coma. It seems to be common knowledge that people in a coma can still hear you, even if they can’t respond....there have been many cases where people coming OUT of a coma and remember what their loved ones have said while in it.

So, I had a final chat to Dad and held his hand for a bit. I started with some simple talk about my new job at the airport, some of the training we were going through and the piece of music I have written recently. I told him that he was almost there - the last few months had been really tough for him both mentally and physically. Being a very independent person, he never quite adjusted to being fully dependent on others, this depressed him a great deal. He simply couldn’t get on with the things he wanted to get on with, without great effort - and sometimes not at all. The last 72 hours were particularly painful on his body, and him not being able to speak I’m sure made it worse.

I told him he was almost at the finish line. That it’s nearly over. That he’s done so well, and that he had lived way longer than anyone’s expectations, including the doctors. I told him I was sorry I hadn’t found a partner yet but that I would keep trying and keep looking. I told him I will do my best to make some kind of decent contribution to this place called earth, which he was not far from leaving. I kissed him on the forehead and said goodbye.

A few hours later I got a phone call. In the presence of both my sisters while they were giving his feet a massage, he finally let go. I wasn’t there, but the nurses later told me that he had waited for me.

I was actually quite at peace with the whole thing, for reasons stated above. I was glad he had finally moved on, happy that he was now resting peacefully somewhere. So much so that I actually went to work the next day. I thought about him most of the time....but not to the point of being distracted and not being able to concentrate, but just thinking of him. Wondering if he could actually see me sitting in the hold of the airplane, loading passengers luggage....and actually making a hash of it first time round. Wonder what he’d think of all that.

Dad’s funeral went really well. Many attended and I think dad would have loved to have all his mates there in the one place. The speeches were really good with bits of humour sprinkled here and there - exactly what he would have liked. He wouldn’t have wanted a long, slow and sad funeral service. It was 45 minutes long and was interesting with the different speakers and a photo slide show. Each speaker gave a unique point of view as to how they new Dad.

My sister gave the Eulogy and I was more than happy to contribute some of my music. We managed to get the same 4 musicians that we used for the YouTube video - which Dad saw a few weeks before he died, and consequently requested for the service. We had the wake (like a reception - I had never heard of that term before) after the funeral with light food etc at a function centre, it was nice but I had to talk non-stop to all sorts of people. Being the son of the deceased everyone wants a chat with you.


It’s funny, in a way I can’t believe how well I’m actually handling all this. Either that or it hasn’t sunk in yet, or possibly a bit of both. There was a slide show of photos played at the funeral, photos from Dad’s life. My uncle put them together with some music by Scott Joplin. He made a DVD for me and other family members, which I still watch every few days, and I get a little teary when I watch it. When you see all the things he did and people that he interacted with, wearing his trademark rough clothes or bland suits, sometimes I can’t believe he’s actually gone. Then I finish watching the DVD, and carry on with whatever I’m doing.
I think about him every day, reminded of just how precious life is. Once diagnosed, Dad only lasted 7-8 months. We’re not here for long, so we should try to really make a go of it, connect with people we love, meet new people we love and perform some duty that makes our realm a better place.

And somehow, at the same time, not take life too seriously.


Miss you Dad xo

Music Marketing - Classical VS Jazz

It’s interesting to look at how musicians market themselves these days. Some of it looks great, and some of it just doesn’t do it for me! I love classical music but tend to find their marketing is (sometimes) quite pretentious. Just so you know what ‘pretentious’ means:

adjective
attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.
For example, take a look at this photo of a string quartet that performed for the recent Perth Arts Festival:

I hate these kind of photos. Look at the expressions on their faces and body language. They’re basically saying....."yeah. We’re f***ing good string players. Don’t mess with us. We got more string than you got bling"

Maybe not the last part. But you know what I mean? Like they’ve got something to prove. “We’re classical music bad-ass.”  Pfff.

Contrast that with the photo below of another artist who performed at the Perth Arts Festival, jazz pianist Eddie Palmieri:

 

Now we’re talking! This guy’s photo basically says: 

“Hey, we’re gonna play some jazz and have a great time. Come and join us.” It looks fun, casual yet still sophisticated, inviting and full of character.

I’d attend Eddie’s gig. I’ll pass on the other one.

Goodbye DAT Machine

I've decided to sell my DAT machine. Any of you actually know what that is?

I had this for 14 years. Farewell vintage high end audio recording machine

DAT stands for Digital Audio Tape recorder. They were big the 80's and 90's for making pristine clear digital recordings - my Dad gave me this one to record my compositions and arrangements while at WAAPA. With a decent microphone I recorded a whole bunch of music over 4 years or so.


Nowadays, DAT has become seriously obsolete - replaced by hard disk recording (IE recording onto your laptop or computer). You have a lot more options recording onto a computer that DAT simply doesn't offer, and the recording quality is on par or better. Consequently, DAT machines are no longer made. I have probably used my DAT 2 times in the last 5 years - it has been sitting there taking up space.

It feels a bit weird to sell it off though, so many memories recording my musical adolescence on it. And I only got $100 for it on eBay, almost seems worth enough to keep it for that price - the shipping will cost more than the unit!


Anyway. I do hope it's going to a good home, eBay member 'ogmha' better look after it ;)

The Next Phase :)

Greetings!

So I have kicked off my new years resolution (in very simple fashion) which was to re-start blogging. I do miss it. I briefly used Tumblr but didn't like how you couldn't add any comments below and there seemed to be way too many different blog options. I just wanna write. Its also too narrow a column to write in. 

I had a great time blogging on myspace until everything went downhill with them. Such a shame. Anyway, I had made those blogs private but have since re-opened them - you can see any posts from 2007-2011 :) Click on 'more' down the bottom of each page to see previous posts.


Anyways - more to come, 2012 :)